can you pls trust me?
pls.
i just need you to trust me, and even if you cant, try your very best.

cause i tink the world of you.
even if i dont msg you or call you.
im not destroying anything.
our relationship. or whatever in the hell we are having.

cause i cant stand you making the most ridiculous assumptions.
it pisses the heck out of me and i cant say anything just you wont be believing me.



2 yrs and 4 months i get shit from you but still im here.
and you're oredi like giving up in less than one month.
saying that if im lying to you, dont wish for anything else.
how much have you screwed up last time?
i went out just now.
to s'pore flyer.
no la.. didn't went on the spore flyer.
went there to lepak and get some.
get some ape seyy.
haha.. wokaes. sumpah tk kelakar.
niwaes, yeah.
got rainforest down there.
and can feed the fish..
one dollar aje.
wanted to feed the fish.
abeh later later later.
smpai skrng tk dapt.




anyway, to me its nice if someone were to accept my flaws.
however comot, selekeh or berselerak i am.
how messy.
how i dress comfortably rather than how i look.
how i don't really mind how my hair is all over the place.
or when im eating doughnut or drinking mocha frap and everything's all over my mouth.



i don't care and i would want someone to be able to fall in love with my flaws.
hmmmmm.. nicely said.
hahaha.
diam ar kama.
anyway, just now saw kaisheng.
funny funny.
tk bebuaal bnyk sngt ar.








ok la.
i got a lot of things to blog about but then my dad watching football then got no mood.
k bye.
everything that was right, is now wrong.
everything that was good, is now bad.


when did my heart go missing?
its like you're blaming me. all of it is pushed on me.
reverse psychology.

i have nothing to say. but everything is said to make things better. trying to pick a fight. then making it all ok. picking up from where we left off. but we're trying all over again from the starting point. i'm tired of wanting to believe you but i've tried so hard to push everything you said; not wanting to keep my hopes up to high. now you said you've changed. but it seems like everythings the same. you're not trying hard enough for me. am i even worthy? was what you said to me just to make me forgive you? to make me stay? to make me not leave you?









i don't know why it doesn't stop.
ok.
so today is sunday.
yerp2.
so i had a nice time yesterday.
spending time with my sister and my family.
sooooo, thought of miting hadi today.
but then, he didnt call so i went swimming at noon's place wif shiqa...
hahaha. it was super fun.
i swear.
cause it's them and it's been long since i had a good laugh with company.

ouh yeah..
b4 going to noon's place, i went to ochacha and mrs hau was there.
i swear i miss her and carrie and siew leng alsooo...
it was super weird but its all good.
i hope the next time i go ochacha, siew leng won't kill me or something.
hahaha.




wokaes.
i need to meet nurul faradella and iba now..
i swear.
i miss them so much.
i spend so much time at work/school that i dream about them.
its super irritating.
and i can't stand it. not that dreaming about you guys are irritating.
don't get me wrong.
hahaha. this saturday and sunday, i'm gonna enjoy till the sun goes down.
I DON'T CARE.
i have absolutely no time for anyone.
so, i really need to put aside weekends for friends.

ok. i swear this feels like ns for me.
hahaha.
im in a middle of a fight with hadi right now.
so, im waiting for a call so that i can finish it up.
i was like tht pompan gile kt youtube yg pekik2 and nangis2 kt dlm train.
just that i was 3 and a half levels down by her.
but i was still making a scene ar.
paiseh tu paiseh.
but then again, during the time of the month, i should make space for anger management classes.
right?
hahaha.
but luckily i'm not that type of people who have to vent it out physically.
klau tk, aku rase 20 org dah kene rembat and masuk hospital.
k lame ar kama.
diam leh tk..








tk bleh.
asl ehh.
hahahaha......
k bye laa.











you're annoyed and so am i.
you're annoying me and so am i.
don't get me wrong. im not assuming anything.
i just think that you should try harder to prove me wrong.
all the accusations i have of you.
bebual tak gune, tembak tk kene.







( i've just experienced a loss. my grandfather.
i know you. in primary school i only knew your name and your face.
i know who your friends were. and what your cca was. i would smile and so would you klau terserempak. reading the news. it came like a big shock. you're still 19. you didnt even have your 20th b'day yet. you had a life. there were people still looking out for you. there's still friends who just wanted to call you and ask you out during the next few days. but you're gone. and by accident. this proves that life is super short. i can't take it. when my datuk passed away, it was his time. he was old. it was better than suffering more.
what were your last thoughts when you were falling. i swear i can't imagine.
aku akan sedekah kan al-fatehah untuk Yasmeen.)










































how could you ever think that i don't need you?
how could you ever think that i don't want to meet you?
how could you ever think that i don't wana be with you?





you're my best friend. i tink the world of you. something like this would likely happen again. we can't stop it nor keep on fighting. pls.. let's just stop it.

can you pls trust me?
pls.
i just need you to trust me, and even if you cant, try your very best.

cause i tink the world of you.
even if i dont msg you or call you.
im not destroying anything.
our relationship. or whatever in the hell we are having.

cause i cant stand you making the most ridiculous assumptions.
it pisses the heck out of me and i cant say anything just you wont be believing me.



2 yrs and 4 months i get shit from you but still im here.
and you're oredi like giving up in less than one month.
saying that if im lying to you, dont wish for anything else.
how much have you screwed up last time?
i went out just now.
to s'pore flyer.
no la.. didn't went on the spore flyer.
went there to lepak and get some.
get some ape seyy.
haha.. wokaes. sumpah tk kelakar.
niwaes, yeah.
got rainforest down there.
and can feed the fish..
one dollar aje.
wanted to feed the fish.
abeh later later later.
smpai skrng tk dapt.




anyway, to me its nice if someone were to accept my flaws.
however comot, selekeh or berselerak i am.
how messy.
how i dress comfortably rather than how i look.
how i don't really mind how my hair is all over the place.
or when im eating doughnut or drinking mocha frap and everything's all over my mouth.



i don't care and i would want someone to be able to fall in love with my flaws.
hmmmmm.. nicely said.
hahaha.
diam ar kama.
anyway, just now saw kaisheng.
funny funny.
tk bebuaal bnyk sngt ar.








ok la.
i got a lot of things to blog about but then my dad watching football then got no mood.
k bye.
everything that was right, is now wrong.
everything that was good, is now bad.


when did my heart go missing?
its like you're blaming me. all of it is pushed on me.
reverse psychology.

i have nothing to say. but everything is said to make things better. trying to pick a fight. then making it all ok. picking up from where we left off. but we're trying all over again from the starting point. i'm tired of wanting to believe you but i've tried so hard to push everything you said; not wanting to keep my hopes up to high. now you said you've changed. but it seems like everythings the same. you're not trying hard enough for me. am i even worthy? was what you said to me just to make me forgive you? to make me stay? to make me not leave you?









i don't know why it doesn't stop.
ok.
so today is sunday.
yerp2.
so i had a nice time yesterday.
spending time with my sister and my family.
sooooo, thought of miting hadi today.
but then, he didnt call so i went swimming at noon's place wif shiqa...
hahaha. it was super fun.
i swear.
cause it's them and it's been long since i had a good laugh with company.

ouh yeah..
b4 going to noon's place, i went to ochacha and mrs hau was there.
i swear i miss her and carrie and siew leng alsooo...
it was super weird but its all good.
i hope the next time i go ochacha, siew leng won't kill me or something.
hahaha.




wokaes.
i need to meet nurul faradella and iba now..
i swear.
i miss them so much.
i spend so much time at work/school that i dream about them.
its super irritating.
and i can't stand it. not that dreaming about you guys are irritating.
don't get me wrong.
hahaha. this saturday and sunday, i'm gonna enjoy till the sun goes down.
I DON'T CARE.
i have absolutely no time for anyone.
so, i really need to put aside weekends for friends.

ok. i swear this feels like ns for me.
hahaha.
im in a middle of a fight with hadi right now.
so, im waiting for a call so that i can finish it up.
i was like tht pompan gile kt youtube yg pekik2 and nangis2 kt dlm train.
just that i was 3 and a half levels down by her.
but i was still making a scene ar.
paiseh tu paiseh.
but then again, during the time of the month, i should make space for anger management classes.
right?
hahaha.
but luckily i'm not that type of people who have to vent it out physically.
klau tk, aku rase 20 org dah kene rembat and masuk hospital.
k lame ar kama.
diam leh tk..








tk bleh.
asl ehh.
hahahaha......
k bye laa.











you're annoyed and so am i.
you're annoying me and so am i.
don't get me wrong. im not assuming anything.
i just think that you should try harder to prove me wrong.
all the accusations i have of you.
bebual tak gune, tembak tk kene.







( i've just experienced a loss. my grandfather.
i know you. in primary school i only knew your name and your face.
i know who your friends were. and what your cca was. i would smile and so would you klau terserempak. reading the news. it came like a big shock. you're still 19. you didnt even have your 20th b'day yet. you had a life. there were people still looking out for you. there's still friends who just wanted to call you and ask you out during the next few days. but you're gone. and by accident. this proves that life is super short. i can't take it. when my datuk passed away, it was his time. he was old. it was better than suffering more.
what were your last thoughts when you were falling. i swear i can't imagine.
aku akan sedekah kan al-fatehah untuk Yasmeen.)










































how could you ever think that i don't need you?
how could you ever think that i don't want to meet you?
how could you ever think that i don't wana be with you?





you're my best friend. i tink the world of you. something like this would likely happen again. we can't stop it nor keep on fighting. pls.. let's just stop it.

18

SHIQA NURUL NAJIB FINA SHAHIRAH MAISARA

By post:

1. happiness
2. you know. when i look at hadi. i still can't fucki...
3. wells
4. don't look no further, baby i'm back here.i'm here...
5. in the middle
6. Baik bro. I got iphone 4 and i changed my number a...
7. ist
8. omg!its exactly 2 am and im still not asleep yet.i...
9. i am a toopid person.ok that's all i wana say..hah...
10. magic

By month:

1. October 2008
2. November 2008
3. December 2008
4. January 2009
5. February 2009
6. March 2009
7. April 2009
8. May 2009
9. June 2009
10. July 2009
11. August 2009
12. September 2009
13. October 2009
14. November 2009
15. December 2009
16. January 2010
17. February 2010
18. April 2010
19. May 2010
20. July 2010
21. August 2010
22. September 2010
23. October 2010
24. December 2010
25. February 2011
26. March 2011
27. April 2011
28. November 2011
29. July 2012
30. December 2012

Design: doughnutcrazy
Image: Unicornx
References: rearrange